Catching Fox Read online

  “Who was that guy with you?” A hint of jealousy tainted his words and Adalynne couldn’t help but feel the thrill of this fact.

  “A friend,” Adalynne responded quickly, not wanting to think about Matthew while she was in Fox’s arms.

  “He didn’t look like just a friend,” he countered flatly. Fox brushed her hair back from her face, cupping her face.

  “My father is in the hospital.” She had always felt the need to tell him the things that mattered to her.

  “I know. That’s why I came back here. To make sure you were okay.” He looked up at her with his focus suddenly sharp. She knew he was under the influence of something, she could tell by the look in his eyes but she didn’t let it stop her. She leaned forward and claimed his lips with hers in a beautiful kiss. They fought to get closer to each other as they pressed their bodies together. His hands slid under her shirt and he caressed her skin until her need became desperate. He pulled her shirt over her head and smiled as he bit his lower lip. Adalynne in turn pulled his shirt off and ran her fingers over the lines of his hard body. She could feel his need for her, his body craved her as much as she did him. He responded to her every touch. All of the heartache she had suffered was worth this moment with him. Fox unbuttoned her pants. She stood up so he could slowly pull them off her hips, gently kissing her legs as he ran his hands down the length of them. His touch lingered on her skin, making her dizzy for more.

  “I want you to be the first to have me. I don’t want anyone but you,” Adalynne breathed in his ear as she leaned into his chest. His hands immediately stilled on her back and she realized she ruined the moment. It was so easy to forget he didn’t feel the same about her when he looked at her like he had only moments ago. “Forget I said that,” she said frantically, trying to kiss him, but he turned away from her. He dropped his hands to his sides. “No, please don’t do this. I want this more than anything. I don’t care if it doesn’t mean anything to you. Please, Fox.” A tear slipped down her cheek as she pleaded with him.

  “No, you don’t. You don’t know what you’re talking about. I never wanted you to save yourself for me, Bee. I told you that a long fucking time ago.” His voice was desolate. “I just wanted to fuck you and get you out of my head.”

  “Don’t say that,” Adalynne sobbed.

  “I never asked for you to love me. I don’t want you to.” He ran his hands through his hair and shut his eyes tight. Adalynne was so close to him but she never felt so far.

  “It’s the only thing I am sure of in my life,” she whispered softly. “Why do you always shut me out when things start to feel real?”

  Fox pulled himself out from under her and stood up. “Fuck!” he yelled, hitting the bottles off the table and they shattered on the floor. A sob escaped Adalynne’s lips as she stood up and pulled her shirt back on.

  “What do you want from me? Do you want me to tell you that I don’t care about you? Do you want me to tell you that all I want is for you to screw me and then we can part ways and never think about each other again? To tell you that I have been with lots of people and sex has no meaning for me? Would that make you happy? You are the most confusing person in the world. You want me one moment and hate me the next.” Adalynne tried to keep her voice down but she was angry.

  “I want you to hate me,” he said, defeated, as he looked down at her. “It would make this so much easier. I want you to slap me in the face and storm out of here and never fucking think of me again.”

  “Why did you send for me then? Was it just to rub it in my face that you don’t have any feelings for me and leave me humiliated?” She was yelling now but she didn’t care. She was furious with him.

  Fox leaned back, his shirt still discarded on the floor displaying his impossibly hard body. He just looked at her with his jaw set. Turmoil brewing in the sea of green as they remained set on her.

  “Screw you, Fox!” She stormed over toward the door. Swinging the door open, she came face to face with the security guard. He didn’t say anything as he looked down at her seething form. “What are you looking at?” she yelled at him before she pushed past.

  “Adalynne!” Fox called to her from the doorway. Adalynne disappointed herself by stopping in her tracks, turning around to face him. He held an envelope in his hand, extending it out toward her.

  “What?” she sobbed.

  “Your money.” He indicated toward his hand. “I told you I would pay you back.”

  “Is that what this was about?” Adalynne dropped her shoulders. “I’m such an idiot.” She sighed. She closed her eyes tight through her embarrassment. She had thought he had called her back there because he wanted to see her, when he merely wanted to pay her back from bailing him out of Slim’s influence. She felt like a complete fool throwing herself at him. No wonder why he recoiled from her when she proclaimed her feelings. “Take your money and shove it!” she yelled at him, trying to salvage her damaged pride.

  Adalynne stalked across the floor packed with bodies lost in the music. When she came in view of the table, Katie jumped up and met her. “Are you okay?” she said in Adalynne’s ear.

  “I want to go home.” She wasn’t even able to pretend she was okay for the sake of their company. Matthew was on his feet quickly, coming to her side.

  “Is it your father?” Matthew asked with grave concern.

  “No, she just needs to go home. The last few days have been hard on her,” Katie said for her as Matthew looked at her expectantly.

  “I’ll drive you,” Matthew insisted.

  When Matthew and Steven dropped the girls off, he promised to call her tomorrow before they left to head back to school. Adalynne tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary but once again he insisted. Adalynne felt guilty he was here for her and all she could think about was Fox and the lingering sensation of his touch on her skin. Matthew kissed her hand gently before turning to leave her and Katie on the doorstep. Adalynne wished she wanted to be with Matthew; he was safe. What if being with him would save her from the heartache that Fox caused her every time he didn’t return her love? She couldn’t get hurt by someone who didn’t control her heart.

  ***

  The next morning came quickly and when Adalynne woke up she still felt exhausted. Her body ached and her stomach felt uneasy. She was determined to be at the hospital early to check on her father; she forced herself to get motivated. She left Katie to sleep. Leaving a note on her pillow explaining she left early for the hospital, she closed the door and headed downstairs.

  Adalynne walked toward the kitchen when she heard a commotion. Unsure of who would be rummaging around so early in the morning, she knew it wasn’t her mother because she had taken her car last night when she left the hospital. “Addie girl, you’re up early.” Carmen’s warm familiar voice floated down the hall. A smile blossomed on Adalynne’s face. “Carmen!” Her feet quickened their pace and rounded the corner to the kitchen. Carmen was standing at the island and the familiar sight almost brought tears of joy to her eyes. “I missed you!”

  Carmen’s strong embrace was comforting and Adalynne melted into her. “Look at you. It never ceases to amaze me the woman you have become, so beautiful darling.” Carmen sighed, stepping back to look at her, smoothing Adalynne’s hair back from her face. “It’s not the same here without you. I miss all the trouble you used to get into.” She winked. Adalynne had always felt closer to Carmen than her own mother. Seeing Carmen made it really feel like she was home. “How are you holding up?”

  “I’m okay. I’ll be better once Dad gets to come home.” Adalynne stepped back. Carmen gave her a sad smile. “Are you making pancakes?” Adalynne’s eyes widened.

  “Yes dear, your mother called me yesterday and said you would be staying at the house so I knew my Addie would want her favorite breakfast when she woke up.” Carmen smiled.

  “You are too good to me. Can I help?” Adalynne looked around for something to do.

  “Sit.” Carmen motioned to a stool at the i
sland. “And tell me about life outside of these walls.” She smiled expectantly. “How is the world treating my Addie?”

  Adalynne could never lie to Carmen so she didn’t try to glaze anything over and the words tumbled out from deep within her. She told Carmen how everything felt wrong. She felt stuck in someone else’s life, going through the motions but not really living. She tried to focus on her classes but her heart wasn’t in it and she found herself directing all her energy on managing to get through the days. She didn’t want to let her family down so she was intent on getting through it. Especially now that her father was sick she wouldn’t do anything to cause any more stress.

  Adalynne even found herself telling Carmen about Matthew and how she couldn’t find it in her to return his affections. She found it so frustrating her heart would not cooperate with what her mind was trying to convince her was the best choice. He was handsome, passionate about his career, and on the path to success, and most important, seemed to genuinely care about her. He wanted to spend time with her.

  Adalynne spent her whole life loving a boy that would never love her back. She wondered if she would spend the rest trying to fall out of love with him. Fox had inspired a love so encompassing that she feared she would be left with only fractions of feelings that would always pale in comparison. She wished her love would have been enough for him. It didn’t matter how big and bright her feelings shone for him—it was never enough. His heart did not feel the same and she was left chasing a dream.

  “You are still hung up on that boy, aren’t you?” Carmen asked but it didn’t really sound like a question as much as speaking a truth she already knew.

  “What boy?” Adalynne tried to play dumb. Over the years Fox warmed up to the fact that Carmen welcomed his presence. When he knew Adalynne’s parents were in no risk of coming home, he would submit to entering her house. They spent many hours in front of the piano, or sitting at the kitchen table sampling Carmen’s cooking. Adalynne never openly talked about her feelings toward Fox. Though, she knew Carmen could tell Adalynne’s heart swelled when that green eyed little boy was near. Even at their young age Fox had become the center of Adalynne’s world.

  “Don’t play dumb with me, child, you are so transparent.” Carmen tried to be stern but ended with her signature smile.

  “What? Fox. No. That was so long ago.”

  “You don’t fool me. I’d seen the way you looked at that boy even when you were just a small child. There was no mistaking that look, my dear.” Carmen shook her head slowly as if shuffling though old memories, her eyes not really focused on anything in particular in the room. A smile played on her lips.

  “Fine. I’m such a pathetic mess.” Adalynne dropped her head in her hands.

  “Life is not meant to be easy. It is hard, complicated, and sometimes seems impossible. All we can hope is getting it somewhat right.” Carmen smiled encouragingly. “Despite what your mother thinks you cannot put a neat little bow on everything and pretend it’s perfect. We need to make a mess before we can make something of it.”

  “Do you think there are different kinds of love? Do you think that if you cannot be with the person you love, you can learn to love someone else?” Adalynne asked hopefully.

  “In my life I have seen many different types of love. Some make us happier than others. Some start with good intentions and fall apart over the years. Though, there is one type of love that is very rare and special. I have witnessed this only a few times in my lifetime…”

  “Morning.” Katie shuffled into the kitchen, still in her pajamas. Adalynne wanted to continue the conversation with Carmen but the moment was lost. “Ooh, pancakes.” Katie clapped.

  “I didn’t think you would be up before I left.” Adalynne was surprised to see Katie up so early. She was never one for mornings.

  “Yeah, well, as much as I love sleep, my stomach had other plans.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  After stuffing her face with Carmen’s ridiculously good pancakes Adalynne said her goodbyes to Carmen and a very reluctant Katie. Adalynne was anxious to get back to her father’s bedside. Katie was heading back to school and made Adalynne promise she would keep her updated on her father’s condition.

  When they had arrived home last night Katie insisted Adalynne explain in detail how she knew Brolan Pierce before she would let her go to sleep. Despite Adalynne’s exhaustion and sullen mood from her encounter with Fox she humored Katie’s request. She started with the fact that Brolan Pierce was actually Damon Knight and Fox to Adalynne. Katie thought it was the most romantic story she had ever heard but Adalynne tried to convince her it was more of a tragedy than anything else. Katie was so easy to talk to and her story with Fox just flowed from her memories to words as Katie listened intently. It was strange talking so openly about Fox. He had always been such a private part of her life.

  ***

  When Adalynne walked into her father’s hospital room she was overjoyed to see him awake. He was perched up with pillows and sipped on some broth her mother was feeding him. The sight warmed her heart. Her parents had both led such demanding careers, the time they allowed themselves to show affection for one another was scarce. Adalynne could hardly recall moments when they expressed love for each other throughout her childhood. Sometimes she wondered if there was any love left between them after all these years but the affectionate touch her mother bestowed upon his shoulder now, spoke of much love.

  “Addie girl, you are looking so much better this morning,” her father said. He still did not have the strength back in his voice but the smile upon his face reached his eyes and it lifted the weight from her shoulders.

  “Good morning. You look as handsome as ever.” Adalynne wrapped her arms around her father’s neck, being careful not to hurt him. His shoulders relaxed under her touch and she could tell the smile was still on his face by the warm energy he emitted.

  “Your friend Katie is lovely,” her mother stated when Adalynne finally let go of her father and seated herself on the chair beside his bed.

  “The greatest,” Adalynne confirmed. She felt so relieved to see her father looking so well, all the tension from last night seeped from her body.

  “Can we have a moment, dear?” her father asked her mother after their conversation had long since died away and they just continued in comfortable silence.

  “Sure, I was actually going to find the nurse and ask for another blanket.” She forced a smile and gave her husband a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving. Adalynne wondered why her mother seemed uncertain about leaving them to their private conversation. The look in her eye told Adalynne she knew what was to be discussed and did not approve.

  He patted the side of his bed for Adalynne to come closer and she complied, settling as gently as she could next to him. “Your mother doesn’t necessarily agree with me on what I am about to say to you but she doesn’t want to argue because it’s not good for my heart. Doctor’s orders, you see.” He smiled, placing his hand gently against his chest.

  “It’s actually quite wonderful how she’s always biting her tongue despite the fact she’s desperate to say something. I’m going to have to start taking advantage of her agreeable state, get her to let me play more golf or perhaps get out of the operas she’s always dragging me to. I can’t stand that shit. Excuse my language.” Adalynne couldn’t help but laugh.

  “After this little scare I have put a lot of thought into things, especially the fact I know it is not your preference to follow in our footsteps. As much as your mother and I have always wanted it for you, it is not our decision to make. I know that you’re miserable. Your friend Katie confirmed it. That girl can talk but I’m sure you already know this. You might not want to tell her your secrets.” He winked at her.

  Taking her hand in his, he continued talking. “I want you to do what makes you happy, and if that means pulling out of school and teaching music lessons at the place you spent most of your time last year, so be it. I want to see that smile on
your face again. I miss when your eyes used to light up when you talked about what was happening in your life. You’re not like your mother and I. You never have been. You have always wanted to follow that sweet little heart of yours toward the sound of music. It is one of the things that make you so special. It was foolish of us to try to force anything on you. I want you to embrace what your heart wants, otherwise your life will be full of regrets and we don’t have time for that. Life is too short.”

  “But Mom…” Adalynne began.

  “Is a very difficult woman, I know that more than anyone, but she made her choices and now I want you to know that you are free to make your own. You don’t owe us anything.” He patted her hand reassuringly as her mother walked back in the room with a tight smile on her face. Adalynne could practically feel the tension coming off her mother. “Think about what I said.”

  “I will.” Adalynne kissed him on the head. “We will have plenty of time to talk later about life plans when you come home and I challenge you to a serious game of chess. This time I will beat you because you’ll still be recovering. You are weak and I am going to take advantage.” Adalynne smiled and her father accepted the challenge happily.

  “Even at my weakest you don’t stand a chance against this reigning champ.” He laughed playfully but ended up sending himself into a coughing fit. Adalynne slid off the bed to give him space and her mother came over with a glass of water.

  “You need to rest now.” Her mother adjusted his pillows so he could lay back.

  “I’m all right,” he said softly, looking up at Adalynne reassuringly.

  “Excuse me. Am I interrupting?” Adalynne turned to see Matthew standing in the doorway. He looked every bit the gentleman with his pressed shirt and fitted pants.